EXPERIMENT ISSUE No. 16

EXCLUSIVE ELECTION 2010 COVERAGE:

LOCAL MARE RUNS FOR MAYOR

New political era in the offing as first black horse enters politics.

It rarely happens in politics that a dark horse candidate emerges who is, in fact, a dark horse. Such is the case with She’s So Political, a 20-year-old thoroughbred mare 15—2 hands high from Nanton. As a last-minute surprise entry She’s So Political is turning heads and making miniature newspapers everywhere...well, mostly just in Nanton, I guess.

This isn’t the first time a horse has been on the ballot in Canada (CBC’s This is That reported July 24, 2010 on a PEI town that elected a horse as Mayor) but She’s So Political would be the first black horse in Canadian history to be Mayor.

Candidate’s Chart:

As a filly She’s So Political graduated 4-H school with a major in grooming. She dabbled in barrel racing and equestrian sport before gaining significant notability with an upstart non-profit breeding program ‘Make Love, Not Glue,’ an advocacy organization founded for lame horses.

Thus began She’s So Political’s foray into politics. She quickly became known among horse circles for her mule-like stubbornness to absolutely everything; voting ‘nay’ a record 3,043 times on town plebicites—a major flaw, as opponents simply ask questions in the negative.

“She looked at me seriously then after a moment said: Murrrrrgghhhhppphhhh.”

An example last year was She’s So Political’s appeal to Nanton Town Council to rule local merchants’ ‘No shirt, no shoes, no service’ policy a contravention of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms. It was argued there are horses that can neither shoe themselves nor find a large enough t-shirt.

When put to a vote, the question was formed in the negative (ie. “Should the ‘no shirt, no shoes, no service’ policy not be enforced in Nanton?”) to which She’s So Political voted nay and promptly defeated her own bill.

Place Your Bets:

While a false favourite for political elections, horses in fact make great politicians, says one local equine expert.

“Ask anyone in politics and they’ll tell you, you need to be quick on your feet, not get spooked easily and have a tough skin. Horses are perfect for politics, provided they wear blinders.”

It could prove to be a true Cinderella story for She’s So Political. Raised on a modest diet of oats and hay she excelled in every competition placed by her owner, who said he wondered why a political race would be any different.

“I said to her, ‘Have you ever thought about throwing your shoe in the ring for Mayor?’ (because see, horses don’t wear hats). And she looked at me seriously and after a moment said, ‘Murrrrrgghhhhppphhhh.’ That’s when I knew we had something special.” x

Remember—

The election in Nanton and around

Alberta takes place

Monday Oct 18, 2010.