EXPERIMENT ISSUE No. 15

PETITION ADMISSIBLE!

Town Council clarifies position on petition to share costs of sewer: Petition is admissible—admissible right in the toilet. STORY BELOW.

By: Peter Worden

It looks like the first test of the town’s newest sewer system will be Pam Woodall’s petition.

In what’s becoming known in miniature newspaper circles as “the Great Nanton Sewer Debacle of 20-aught-10”, a petition collected with the correct number of signatures and by the correct time was ruled fully admissible in Town Council toilets.

The petition asked Council to repeal a bylaw, which by now we’re all probably familiar with–but if not–essentially, imposes taxes solely on owners of property along 21 Street for a sewer upgrade. The only thing worse than having your street-front mangled and under construction for half the year is being directly on the hook for 15 per cent of the cost. With the total project at nearly $3 million, 39 landowners will be collectively responsible for about $147,000.

Originally Mayor John Blake ruled the latest petition inadmissible. However, upon conferring with the Municipal Government Act (MGA), it was in fact found admissible, but a caveat exists under Section 347 stating where to it is admissible.

Since most don’t read this newspaper you may have missed the philosophic genius of writer John Gardner in the Experiment’s May 22 edition. It was he who said: “The society which scorns plumbing as a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy; neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water.”

Woodall (also widely known in miniature newspaper circles) says basically the same. Her petition saw 225 signatures (it needed 212.5, 10 per cent, to be valid) however she was told by Mayor and Town Council Jun 7 it was inadmissible under the MGA’s guidelines for what can and cannot be petitioned (which would have been nice to know before she got all the signatures.)

However, the Nanton Experiment has found some further fine print in the MGA’s guidelines, which state the petition is admissible when–as the fine print dictates–used in accordance with toilet paper and flushed down the toilet. This being the second petition discredited by fine print, the next step is to petition the Municipal Affairs Minister with twice as many eligible residents, 20 per cent, so that a reason can quickly be conjured up to admit the petition down the closest toilet bowl.

Democratic ideals are at stake here. What are new pipes and plumbing without sound democratic principle behind them? In a Letter to the Editor of the Nanton News (of which this paper derives 90 per cent of its content) Woodall lamented: “[i]f this weren’t a family paper, I would have to call b------t.”

Well, Pam. Because this isn’t a family paper I will happily unbowdlerize your frustrations and call it what it is ...